Traumatized By Racism

My culture and my blackness is a part of me and I never want to subject that to fit into a white norm...

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Evaluation Sunday Blog

It’s so crazy because every time a Black person is killed by the police, it triggers emotions from my last place of work. I experienced racist trauma that has changed my life forever. The rage, anger, anxiety and hurt that I had to endure just to do something I love will forever affect me. That season of my life I had to realize that my culture and my blackness is a part of me and I never want to subject that to fit into a white norm. I thought maybe if I endured all these microaggressions, ignored the history of the place and focused on the future, no other black person would have to experience it, but I was wrong. I had to leave that place of work that wanted diversity, but not the culture inclusively. I learned it wasn’t my responsibility to make someone accept my blackness, it wasn’t my responsibility to educate why being black matters, and it wasn’t my responsibility to get them to accept us. That experience really affected me and I thought never again will I dim my blackness to be accepted. I would not allow white people to be comforted in their privilege, I would not allow ‘oh I’m not racist or I don’t see color’ as an excuse to not be held accountable. I would not allow a voice in the room that is not a representation of my blackness to speak for us. I never thought after that experience that white people can be trusted but at the protest, I was at ease knowing that we had allies. It doesn't make up for the abuse of their ancestors but it does fill me with more hope. The Bible said if you lost hope you lost everything. I’m learning to embrace the spaces that embrace us and be in places where we are safe, wanted and appreciated. George Floyd was my first protest and although it’s sad what is happening, I truly believe hope is being restored. I feel like a message is being sent and we are being supported. White supremacy will change, we just have to keep on fighting. We are fighting the good fight and I’m good with that. 

Cadedra Burks 

Traumatized By Racism 

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